Mars One, a Netherlands-based organization, announced plans this week to send a select few lucky applicants to Mars in 2023 to star in a reality TV show about colonizing the red planet, saying that they will be accepting applications starting in July, but warning that there will be no return trip back to Earth. How does that make you feel?

"Who would fall for that? I mean, Lindsay Lohan having unprotected pre-marital sex and giving birth to a bastard child? Come on now." Beth Morose, Industrial Flange Welder

“I bet these reality-tv-watching idiots actually think there’s a planet called ‘Mars.'” Susan Wall, Tree Washer

"Alien sex? I'm in." Clint Arlow, Disposable Plate Repairman

“Alien sex? I’m in.”    Clint Arlow, Disposable Plate Repairman


“A reality-tv show in an environment completely devoid of intelligent life? I’ve had enough of these Jersey Shore spin-offs.”    Mark Sidwell, Unemployed

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