Best of: May 2013

Just incase you missed any of them the first time around, here are some of the top articles from May, Continue reading →

North Korea Denies Launching Short-Range Missiles, Claims “Distance Is Relative”

PYONGYANG — In an official statement from North Korea, Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un denied recent allegations that his military Continue reading →

Glenn Beck Suspicious as Obama Spotted in Aftermath of Oklahoma Tornado

MOORE, OKLA — According to local sources in Moore, Oklahoma – the site of a recent, devastating tornado that killed Continue reading →

Area Man Hasn’t Had “I’m Like A Bird” Stuck In Head in Quite Some T- …Shit

PITTSBURGH — According to Area Man Gary Mathis, “You know what song I haven’t had playing on an endless, painful Continue reading →

Word on the Streets: Some Words May Be 15,000 Years Old

The U.S. National Academy of Science determined this week that a small handful of words still in relatively contemporary use Continue reading →

Sadistic Shower Head Assaults Man’s Genitals with Perfectly-Timed Temperature Switch

TAMPA, FLA –A shower head, which officials are describing as “sadistic in nature,” has been detained by authorities for allegedly Continue reading →

Taco Bell Elects to Take USDA Meat Test Pass/Fail

IRVINE, CALIF — Taco Bell announced in a statement last week that they have elected to take this year’s USDA Continue reading →

Extreme Sportsman Completes Successful Base-jump, Funeral To Be Held Friday

LODI, CALIF — While base-jumping last week in a northern California ravine, Extreme Sportsman Felix Grainger’s parachute reportedly malfunctioned, sending the Continue reading →