Pittsburgh: 3 South Oakland Buildings Improved In Atwood Street Fire

PITTSBURGH — The Pittsburgh Fire Department was called late last night to a three-alarm blaze on Atwood Street that, according to onlookers, Continue reading →

Jet-Wheel Stowaway Forces Airports to Increase Security Illusions

SAN JOSE, CALIF. — Following a 15-year-old boy’s recent stowaway ride across the Pacific Ocean, authorities at San Jose International Continue reading →

HS Student Earns Perfect SAT Score After Answering Every Question With Word “Google”

HERMINIE, PA — Local High School Student Roger Burman recently scored a perfect 2400 on the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) after Continue reading →

Military Pilot Who Crashed Into Jungle Goes Unfound, FAA Blames Pilot Fatigues

WASHINGTON — Following an investigation into the crash and subsequent disappearance of U.S. Air Force Captain Wilbur “Willie” Rong during Continue reading →

90 Year Old On Deathbed Comforted By Family Repeatedly Pointing Out How Old He Is

FT. LAUDERDALE, FLA — 90-year-old Elmer Durzylwood was reportedly at peace in his final hours late last night after his Continue reading →

Vermont, Colorado, California All Frontrunners To Win 2014 State Of The Union

WASHINGTON — According to a source within the State of the Union Award Academy, Vermont, Colorado and California are the Continue reading →

Obama Invites Metal Shards From Boston Bomb As Honored Guest at State Of The Union

WASHINGTON — It was announced earlier this morning that the remains of the explosive device used in the heinous and Continue reading →

Skrillex Weighs In On Iran Situation: “WURRRRGRAAWWWWLLLLWICKETYREEEEEOOWWWRR”

LOS ANGELES — Asked his opinion on whether or not the U.S. lifting specific sanctions on Iran in exchange for Continue reading →