LONDON — In a statement issued by Interpol’s Missing Persons Department, 37-year-old Rap Artist M.I.A. has been found.
According to the statement, the missing person case was solved at around 7:15 p.m. yesterday when British Detective Nigel Caruthers took his girlfriend to an M.I.A. concert in the Westminster section of London.
Said Caruthers, “I can’t believe we found her. She’s been M.I.A. for years.”
Caruthers described the event as “A miraculous coincidence,” saying, “One minute I’m at an M.I.A. concert, and the next minute, out walks M.I.A.. It was a very lucky break in this cold case.”
Sources close to the rapper’s family report that they are relieved.
In a related story, doctors are still no closer to finding a cure for the painful urinary issues from which American Rapper T.I. has long been suffering.