Nation Praying for Victims of Boston Bombing’s Media Coverage

Above: Desperate for something to report amid the 24-hour coverage attack, one local-news affiliate interviewed this man to ask where he got his sunglasses and, as a follow up question, asked, “You wouldn’t happen to know where the suspects are currently hiding, would you?”

NEW YORK — According to reports, the nation is praying for a swift recovery for those affected by the Boston Bombing’s media coverage.

Following the tragic loss of journalistic integrity, Americans turned in droves to social media in a desperate attempt to make sense of all the seemingly senseless reporting.

“I’m confused. Did they catch them or not?” asked @QueenBitch1992 after multiple CNN reports and subsequent redactions of the terror suspects’ capture.

“How could the New York Post print pictures of the wrong men on their front page?” asked a confused Jeremy Friedman in a Facebook status update, referring to the slanderous headline which labeled two innocent men as heinous criminals and, in turn, caused irreparable and far-reaching damage to their personal reputations while simultaneously putting them at risk of physical harm.

Added Friedman, “A newspaper owned by Rupert Murdoch not being able to tell the difference between two distinctly different groups of men with dark skin? I never thought I’d see the day.”

Friedman later admitted, however, that while he was shocked to see such a grievous error from a print newspaper, he “kind of expected this sort of thing from the GIF-watching dickheads on Reddit,” referring of course to the site’s incredibly quick – albeit completely inaccurate – fingering of the suspect who ultimately had nothing to do with the bombing.

Still, experts argue that, in defense of Reddit – which is the self-proclaimed “front page of the internet” – it is quite possible that the mindless internet trolls known as “redditors” believed that posting literally every random photo from the Boston Marathon tragedy and arbitrarily picking one man to label as a terrorist was a perfectly acceptable form not only of detective work, but also of journalism, perhaps due to the New York Post’s front-page-example of incompetence.

At press time, experts pointed out that while this sort of hasty and negligent reporting is truly unnerving, Americans must learn to cope with the sad reality that this is just the world in which we now live.