U.S. Stunned by Rodman’s North Korea Visit, Really Expected More From Freak Show That Is Rodman

NEW YORK — Following Former NBA Star Dennis Rodman’s visit to North Korea last week, political commentators expressed utter shock that such a decent, wholesome, insane human being would accept a free trip to North Korea.

Rodman – whose stats include three divorces, 43 hair colors, seven arrests and two trips to rehab – is widely regarded as a pillar of his community and an overall upstanding citizen, according to nobody ever in the history of basketball or life.

Nevertheless, as the de-facto U.S. ambassador to North Korea, Rodman defended the overseas travel, citing his many fond memories from the diplomatic journey. Said Rodman, “Guess what dude. Guess what. My hair green. OK? Free airline peanuts? Yup. Kim Jong Un my friend? Check. He kills people? Guess what dude. That’s one thing. OK? That’s one thing. He like basketball. I’m basketball. Bill Clinton had sex and Obama like basketball. OK?”

Following Rodman’s statement to the press, ABC Political Anchor George Stephanopoulos expressed his bewilderment at the situation, saying “I just don’t get it. What does this flamboyant “bad-boy” – who so clearly exhibits Borderline Personality Disorder with his crazy antics and overall erratic behavior – see in Dennis Rodman?”