(Camp David, MD) — Attempting to assuage the fears of concerned gun enthusiasts, President Obama released photographic evidence earlier this week to support claims that he “enjoy[s] shooting skeet at Camp David.”
Despite the President’s revelation, critics contend that if he was truly proud of the photograph, “he would have ‘instagrammed’ that joint.”
According to White House Press Secretary Jay Carney, “We needed to dispel the skepticism and remove all doubt… to let the nation see that the President empathizes with gun owners on this deeply divisive yet fundamentally crucial topic. That’s why we opted for the #nofilter.”
Carney also attempted to defend the “tastefulness” of the photo in light of the recent Newtown, MA massacre by citing past instances of presidents immersing themselves in that which they hoped to legislate.
Said Carney, “We just wanted to show that President Obama knows and appreciates guns. It’s not unlike Former President George W. Bush, for example, who snorted cocaine and was therefore qualified to lead our nation’s war on drugs.”
Carney declined comment when asked if he meant to say that President Bush led “the nation’s war, on drugs.”
Despite the administration’s official stance on the photo, not everyone in the White House agrees with the strategy.
Dissenting sources close to the President disapprove of the decision to release the picture in the first place, arguing that it sets an ill-advised precedent in which Obama “must produce photographic evidence to support every claim he makes from now on.”
At press time, rumors involving a different sort of “skeet shooting” photograph began to surface amid allegations that the President “does not have sex with Michelle.”