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By: Dan Reidmiller

TAMPA, FLA — Area Resident Chris Fleery made a shocking discovery yesterday when, while clicking around an online 7UP advertisement that the soda company is calling “The Onion,” he noticed several strange words which, as it turned out, actually comprised a comedic text of some kind.

According to Fleery, “I was just bored at work so I was clicking around on some corporate soft-drink marketing materials – you know, like people do. It’s just so easy to get distracted by those pop-ups and spend hours of my workday browsing; staring in doe-eyed amazement at promotional content of all kinds.”

Fleery continued, saying, “Anyway, I was just having fun, taking in some online advertisements for the deliciously refreshing beverage when all of a sudden, I saw some words that didn’t seem to have anything to do with the PepsiCo subsidiary.”

Added Fleery, “I was like ‘what the fuck is this shit peeking out from under my 7UP ad?'”

“I mean, I’ve been to that advertisement page many times in the past,” Fleery concluded, “but I never in a million years would’ve thought that 7UP had its own satire stories subliminally placed amid the visual orgy of salesmanship that forcibly sodomizes my eye sockets from the moment I arrive on-site.”

At press time, it was reported that fans of Reidicule News needn’t worry about any sort of advertising on this beloved site for the foreseeable future.

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