NRA Slams Birth Control: “We Must Fight Semen With Semen”

WASHINGTON — In a prepared statement, the Neonatal Responsibility Association (NRA) announced their official stance on the highly contested birth Continue reading →

Report: Stock Market Doing Something, Nation Believes

WALL STREET — According to the latest numbers from Wall Street, the DOW Jones Industrial Average has fallen slightly after Continue reading →

Flawed Study: Sperm Counts Lower In Avid TV Watchers

(Omaha, NE) — According to a recent study, men ages 18-22 who exercise less than five hours per week and Continue reading →

Tampax Launches New “Gender Neutral” Tampons

CINCINNATI — At a press conference held yesterday, Procter and Gamble’s subsidiary Tampax announced plans to release a new line Continue reading →

Opinion: Reidicule Has Absolutely No Opinion On Hacker Group Anonymous

Definitely NOT Written by us. (The Internets) — In light of recent actual news reports, Reidicule News just wants to Continue reading →

Drunken Obama Declares Prima Nocte

WASHINGTON — In a surprise move late last night, President Obama declared “Prima Nocte,” invoking the controversial 16th century feudal Continue reading →

US Postal Service Announces That They Still Exist

(Washington, D.C.) — In a defiant statement, the United States Postal Service declared that not only do they still exist, Continue reading →

Critics: “Why No Instagram Effects, Obama?”

(Camp David, MD) — Attempting to assuage the fears of concerned gun enthusiasts, President Obama released photographic evidence earlier this Continue reading →