Facebooker Relieved Not to Give Shit About Any of Seven Friends Whose Birthday It Is Today

CAMDEN, N.J. — Area Facebook User Griff Paley reported earlier this morning that he is very much relieved to see Continue reading →

Dog Patiently Explains Concept of Object Permanence to Dumbfounded Owner

SEATTLE — 49-Year-Old Dog “Mr. Truffles,” who clearly saw his owner, Linda Geohring, place his tennis ball behind her back, Continue reading →

8 Out of 9 US Bridges “Not Deficient” So Quit Being a Pussy and Cross That River Already

WEST NEWTON, PA — A recent report has found that eight out of every nine US bridges are “more or Continue reading →

Woman Thinking Ahead 49 Years Names Newborn Son “Murray”

LANSING, MICH — Area Woman Marcy Keller proudly announced this morning the birth of her healthy, 9 lb., 3 oz. Continue reading →

Best of: May 2013

Just incase you missed any of them the first time around, here are some of the top articles from May, Continue reading →

Word on the Streets: Some Words May Be 15,000 Years Old

The U.S. National Academy of Science determined this week that a small handful of words still in relatively contemporary use Continue reading →

Sadistic Shower Head Assaults Man’s Genitals with Perfectly-Timed Temperature Switch

TAMPA, FLA –A shower head, which officials are describing as “sadistic in nature,” has been detained by authorities for allegedly Continue reading →

Taco Bell Elects to Take USDA Meat Test Pass/Fail

IRVINE, CALIF — Taco Bell announced in a statement last week that they have elected to take this year’s USDA Continue reading →