30 Year Old Can’t Find Meme to Express Himself, Gets Divorce Instead

TAMPA, FLA. — Local 30-year-old Timothy Dullard, whose relationship reportedly has been on the rocks for the past few months, Continue reading →

Champion Boxer Chris Brown To Try Hand At Singing

LOS ANGELES — In an attempt to capitalize on his fame as a brawler, World Champion Boxer Chris Brown has Continue reading →

Immigrants Call On Obama to Deport Them

SIERRA VISTA, ARIZ. — As the immigration debate heated up this week on Capitol Hill, illegal aliens throughout the U.S. Continue reading →

WebMD-diagnosed Man Definitely Has AIDS, Or Possibly Just Eczema

DES MOINES, IOWA — It was reported earlier today that local farmer Henry Myopic “definitely [has] AIDS… or maybe eczema.” Continue reading →

A Confused Buffett: “I Said ‘Pass the Ketchup,’ Not ‘Buy It'”

PITTSBURGH — In the aftermath of a $28 Billion deal that saw multinational conglomerate holding company Berkshire Hathaway purchase the Continue reading →

NRA Slams Birth Control: “We Must Fight Semen With Semen”

WASHINGTON — In a prepared statement, the Neonatal Responsibility Association (NRA) announced their official stance on the highly contested birth Continue reading →

Report: Stock Market Doing Something, Nation Believes

WALL STREET — According to the latest numbers from Wall Street, the DOW Jones Industrial Average has fallen slightly after Continue reading →

Flawed Study: Sperm Counts Lower In Avid TV Watchers

(Omaha, NE) — According to a recent study, men ages 18-22 who exercise less than five hours per week and Continue reading →