Dog Patiently Explains Concept of Object Permanence to Dumbfounded Owner

SEATTLE — 49-Year-Old Dog “Mr. Truffles,” who clearly saw his owner, Linda Geohring, place his tennis ball behind her back, Continue reading →

In Honor of John Paul II, Vatican’s Child Concubine Party to be “Low-Key”

VATICAN CITY — Top Vatican Officials this week are planning a small celebration of Pope John Paul II’s canonization into Continue reading →

U.S. Heightens Security for 4th of July

1,696 NFL Players Charged With Assaulting Each Other

NEW YORK — In a coordinated police sting operation, authorities earlier today raided the homes of and arrested 1,696 NFL Continue reading →

Rapper M.I.A. Found

LONDON — In a statement issued by Interpol’s Missing Persons Department, 37-year-old Rap Artist M.I.A. has been found. According to Continue reading →

Pittsburgh Pirates On Record Pace to Reach 53-Win Limit

PITTSBURGH — The Pittsburgh Pirates are out to their best start yet, already having secured 51 of their 53 maximum Continue reading →

5th Grader Tells Friend Personal Secret, Now Wanted by NSA for Revealing Government Secrets

WASHINGTON — Federal authorities yesterday filed espionage charges against Area Fifth-grader Eddie Rainden for allegedly disclosing to an unnamed classmate Continue reading →

8 Out of 9 US Bridges “Not Deficient” So Quit Being a Pussy and Cross That River Already

WEST NEWTON, PA — A recent report has found that eight out of every nine US bridges are “more or Continue reading →