Technically True: 47% of U.S. Opposes Gay Marriage, Other 53% Are Not In KKK

WASHINGTON — According to a recent PEW Research Center study which is technically true, 47% of the U.S. population is Continue reading →

Word on the Streets: Obama Fills Out March Madness Bracket

President Obama took a five-minute break today to fill out a bracket with his official picks for this year’s NCAA Continue reading →

Area Woman Still Recovering From “Crazy” St. Paddy’s Day of Drinking-picture Taking

PITTSBURGH — Area Woman Melanie Daft is reportedly still recovering from what she describes as “the greatest fucking St. Patrick’s Continue reading →

Nation Spreads Sequestration Blame Equally Between Rep. Obama, Sen. Obama and Former Pres. Obama

WASHINGTON — A recent poll shows that 84% of Americans refuse to place the blame for the sequestration budget cuts Continue reading →

ABC’s “The Taste” Signs Starving Ethiopian Child as Season 2 Judge

LOS ANGELES — Following Tuesday’s season one finale, producers of the ABC reality cooking show The Taste announced yesterday that they Continue reading →

Word on the Streets: Facebook Likes Will Give Away Your Secrets

Researchers with the National Academy of Science announced yesterday that they can accurately predict an individual’s intelligence, political alignment, sexual Continue reading →

Not to be Outdone by Replica Titanic, Rupert Murdoch to Build Replica Hindenburg

MELBOURNE — Following Australian billionaire Clive Palmer’s announcement that he plans to build a replica Titanic, fellow Aussie billionaire and Continue reading →

U.S. Stunned by Rodman’s North Korea Visit, Really Expected More From Freak Show That Is Rodman

NEW YORK — Following Former NBA Star Dennis Rodman’s visit to North Korea last week, political commentators expressed utter shock Continue reading →