Sadistic Shower Head Assaults Man’s Genitals with Perfectly-Timed Temperature Switch

TAMPA, FLA –A shower head, which officials are describing as “sadistic in nature,” has been detained by authorities for allegedly Continue reading →

Taco Bell Elects to Take USDA Meat Test Pass/Fail

IRVINE, CALIF — Taco Bell announced in a statement last week that they have elected to take this year’s USDA Continue reading →

Extreme Sportsman Completes Successful Base-jump, Funeral To Be Held Friday

LODI, CALIF — While base-jumping last week in a northern California ravine, Extreme Sportsman Felix Grainger’s parachute reportedly malfunctioned, sending the Continue reading →

Best of: April 2013

Just incase you missed any of them the first time around, here are some of the top articles from April, Continue reading →

Norm Abram Goes on Mass Sawing Spree, 11 People Left With Sheds

CARLISLE, MASS — Celebrity Carpenter and Former Host of PBS’s Long-running “New Yankee Workshop” Series Norm Abram allegedly went on Continue reading →

Unemployed 30-Year-Old Tags Along With Dad on ‘Take Your Kid to Work’ Day

PEORIA, IL. — Unemployed 30-year-old Brandon Delcroe excitedly called ‘shotgun’ as he hopped into the passenger seat of his disappointed Continue reading →

NASA Locates 3 New Earth-like Planets That Could Theoretically Support Death

CAPE CANAVERAL, FLA — The NASA Program recently announced that their scientists have located three new Earth-like planets, each of Continue reading →

2-Hour Tom Cruise Documentary “Oblivion” Due Out Tomorrow

HOLLYWOOD — Universal Studios announced yesterday that they are finally going to release the two-hour, six-minute Tom Cruise documentary under Continue reading →