Best of: February 2013

Just incase you missed any of them the first time around, here are some of the top articles from February, Continue reading →

Kanye and Kim Pregnancy Watch: Kim Reveals “It’s An Antichrist!”

LOS ANGELES — In an E! Network interview, Famed Famous Person Kim Kardashian announced the sex of her unborn baby, Continue reading →

Champion Boxer Chris Brown To Try Hand At Singing

LOS ANGELES — In an attempt to capitalize on his fame as a brawler, World Champion Boxer Chris Brown has Continue reading →

WebMD-diagnosed Man Definitely Has AIDS, Or Possibly Just Eczema

DES MOINES, IOWA — It was reported earlier today that local farmer Henry Myopic “definitely [has] AIDS… or maybe eczema.” Continue reading →

NRA Slams Birth Control: “We Must Fight Semen With Semen”

WASHINGTON — In a prepared statement, the Neonatal Responsibility Association (NRA) announced their official stance on the highly contested birth Continue reading →

Tampax Launches New “Gender Neutral” Tampons

CINCINNATI — At a press conference held yesterday, Procter and Gamble’s subsidiary Tampax announced plans to release a new line Continue reading →

Drunken Obama Declares Prima Nocte

WASHINGTON — In a surprise move late last night, President Obama declared “Prima Nocte,” invoking the controversial 16th century feudal Continue reading →

US Postal Service Announces That They Still Exist

(Washington, D.C.) — In a defiant statement, the United States Postal Service declared that not only do they still exist, Continue reading →