HS Student Earns Perfect SAT Score After Answering Every Question With Word “Google”

By: Dan Reidmiller HERMINIE, PA — Local High School Student Roger Burman recently scored a perfect 2400 on the Scholastic Aptitude Continue reading →

Undercover PennDOT Workers Disguised As Cops To Secretly Finish Turnpike Construction

  By: Dan Reidmiller PITTSBURGH — The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation (PennDOT) recently announced plans to disguise an elite group of its Continue reading →

Scientists Find Water On Nearby Useless-Ass Soda-less Planet

By: Dan Reidmiller CAPE CANAVERAL, FLA. — Scientists with the NASA space program recently uncovered several million gallons of potable water — though no Continue reading →

Military Pilot Who Crashed Into Jungle Goes Unfound, FAA Blames Pilot Fatigues

By: Dan Reidmiller WASHINGTON — Following an investigation into the crash and subsequent disappearance of U.S. Air Force Captain Wilbur Continue reading →

90 Year Old On Deathbed Comforted By Family Repeatedly Pointing Out How Old He Is

By: Dan Reidmiller FT. LAUDERDALE, FLA — 90-year-old Elmer Durzylwood was reportedly at peace in his final hours late last Continue reading →

Vermont, Colorado, California All Frontrunners To Win 2014 State Of The Union

By: Dan Reidmiller WASHINGTON — According to a source within the State of the Union Award Academy, Vermont, Colorado and Continue reading →

Obama Invites Metal Shards From Boston Bomb As Honored Guest at State Of The Union

By: Dan Reidmiller WASHINGTON — It was announced earlier this morning that the remains of the explosive device used in Continue reading →

Elle Magazine’s February Cover to Feature X-Ray of Mindy Kaling’s Skeleton

By: Dan Reidmiller NEW YORK — Elle Magazine recently unveiled its February cover, which features an X-ray photograph of Mindy Continue reading →