In Honor of John Paul II, Vatican’s Child Concubine Party to be “Low-Key”

VATICAN CITY — Top Vatican Officials this week are planning a small celebration of Pope John Paul II’s canonization into Continue reading →

Pittsburgh Pirates On Record Pace to Reach 53-Win Limit

PITTSBURGH — The Pittsburgh Pirates are out to their best start yet, already having secured 51 of their 53 maximum Continue reading →

5th Grader Tells Friend Personal Secret, Now Wanted by NSA for Revealing Government Secrets

WASHINGTON — Federal authorities yesterday filed espionage charges against Area Fifth-grader Eddie Rainden for allegedly disclosing to an unnamed classmate Continue reading →

8 Out of 9 US Bridges “Not Deficient” So Quit Being a Pussy and Cross That River Already

WEST NEWTON, PA — A recent report has found that eight out of every nine US bridges are “more or Continue reading →

Apple’s iOS 7 to Feature Impressive, Radically Redesigned Glitches

CUPERTINO, CALIF — Apple recently unveiled the new iOS 7 operating system, which CEO Tim Cook is hailing as “the Continue reading →

Supreme Court OKs Police to Collect Suspects’ DNA, Suspects Excited for Free Handjobs

WASHINGTON — In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court voted 5-4 yesterday to allow police to collect the DNA of Continue reading →

Best of: May 2013

Just incase you missed any of them the first time around, here are some of the top articles from May, Continue reading →

Best of: April 2013

Just incase you missed any of them the first time around, here are some of the top articles from April, Continue reading →