Word on the Streets: Man Stabs 14 at Lone Star College

HOUSTON — 14 people were stabbed yesterday at the Lone Star College Cy-Fair campus when a student ran from building Continue reading →

“If We Let Gun Men Carry [Assault Rifles], What’s to Stop Them From Fucking Chickens?”

CAPITOL HILL — The gun control debate heated up this past week as anti-gun legislators argued that “if we let gun Continue reading →

White House Announces Hipster Folk-Band Mapping Project

THE WHITE HOUSE — President Obama announced at a press conference last week that he plans to enlist the help Continue reading →

God Suspected of Striking Area Woman Dead for Ignoring Facebook Meme

HOBOKEN, NJ — The body of area woman Denise Felturo was discovered in her home early this morning, having suffered Continue reading →

Word on the Streets: Lohan Confirms Pregnancy Tweet Just An April Fool’s Joke

Lindsay Lohan tweeted on Monday that she is pregnant, but later told reporters that it was just an April Fool’s Continue reading →

Despite Death Threats, Area HS Student Perplexingly Continues to Choose to Be Gay

LARAMIE, WYO. — In a bizarre turn of events, it was reported yesterday that area high school student Matthew Lambert Continue reading →

Best of: March 2013

Just incase you missed any of them the first time around, here are some of the top articles from March, Continue reading →

Technically True: 47% of U.S. Opposes Gay Marriage, Other 53% Are Not In KKK

WASHINGTON — According to a recent PEW Research Center study which is technically true, 47% of the U.S. population is Continue reading →